People often get angry with me because I don't honor their invitations. I want to explain one reason behind my behavior.
When it comes to invitations, I have two principles and I am trying so hard to stick to it : 1-Never accept an invitation that will require spending money when I have no money and 2-never order something that my money cannot buy. I must have at least in my pocket my transportation fees and the price of the food I eat.
Some guys invite girls to eat and then run away without paying. Others ask you to come with a taxi, promising to pay. But, you cannot find them at the place of the appointement. I've heard so many embarrassing situations on the subject.
A friend had been invited by a well known DJ. We were still in secondary school. He was not as famous as he is today. She had very little money and she wasted it on phone calls (because he was late) and drinks (she was thirsty while waiting). When he finally came, he did not pay for her drinks and for the calls. Worse, he said he had an urgent appointment. They took a cab and once he arrived at his destination, he paid the exact amount appearing on the counter at that moment. (750 or 950 F CFA , I don't remember). She had no money. She went to a friend's house to borrow money. The friend was absent. She had to explain everything to her friend's mother. All this embarrassement could have been avoided.
Another acquaintance was invited to the beach by a suitor. When they ordered, he received a phone call. He had to make a quick run to Abidjan, but he promised to come back soon. He left 20 000 CFA francs to the girl. She was sitting at the table and ate well. It was getting late. No news of the guy. Phone closed. She decided to ask for the bill: 20 000 FCFA. She had nothing to go home. Can you imagine ? Alone, at night, in Bassam. I'll spare you more details. Thank God, she is still there to tell this story.
When I finally explain why I didn't accept their invitation, some people are offended.
"You do not trust me ! I thought we were friends"
"When I invite a woman I take care of everything. What is this misplaced feminism?"
Gentlemen, it is not a problem of trust or feminism. I just do not want to get to wash dishes in a restaurant. I refuse to have to beg for money on the street.
"Excuse me, I came to see a friend who told me he was going to pay my transportation to go home, but he is not there and his phone is closed. I need 500 CFA. Please. " God forbid.
It can be done in order to do harm or not (something unexpected can happen), but the result is the same: shame, humiliation. One word is enough for the wise.
Photos: atoo.ci